Fatherís Day is almost here

June 15, 2007
By Don Borad, PsyD, MFT Fatherís Day is almost here and we fathers will have a day when we get some appreciation for who we are and what we do. I canít help but wonder what we do to deserve a special day to honor us. I guess that what we do differs from father to father, but certainly we bring home the bacon. However, that function is now diminished to some extent these days because it usually requires two incomes to keep the wolf from the door. Fathers do many other things but this holiday refers specifically to our function as parents. After all it is Fatherís Day, not husbandís day or boyfriendís day or even breadwinnerís day. So, what are the father functions that our families honor us for? Here are some of my ideas. We provide a roll model for our boys and girls; we contribute to disciplining the children; we settle disputes; we fix toys; and lastly, but not least, we honor and respect the mother of our children. I put emphasis on this last item because its effect on our children is serious and far reaching. How we treat the mother of our children is a model for how our sons will treat their romantic partners and how our daughters will expect to be treated by their romantic partners. If we, as fathers, treat mothers with love and respect, regardless of our disagreements, our children will learn to settle disputes with loved ones without emotional or physical abuse. The resulting happier relationships will reduce divorces and ensure happier lives, not only for our children and grandchildren, but for ourselves. So I say to all fathers: treat the mother of your children with love and respect. You will help to ensure happier lives for all, and you can feel proud on Fatherís Day.

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